So we just experienced our first goat hoof trimming extravaganza and boy was it. First you have to catch them, which is liable to rip your fingers off in the case that you grab the collar of of one of the 140 pounders as they are running past you. Or you are liable to end up on your face in the mud as you're chasing around Duffy, a 30 pounder, who can easily out-manoeuvre both my dad and husband for a solid five minutes (most embarrassingly is that this out-maneuvering took place in a closed 10x10 pin). Once you've caught one, you have to literally push it onto the ground by pulling his legs out from under him. Then you have to have one person hold down his head and neck, and another hold down his legs so he doesn't kick you in the face as you take wire-cutters to his feet. All this while you keep a sharp eye out for his "friends" who WILL head-butt you if you get too comfortable playing nail salon on one of their own. Then, you get down in the mud on your hands and knees, and it takes about 8 minutes to effectively trim the hooves of one goat. Then you get up and try to catch the second of the six.
Now to my main point: Jack was stationed by the legs, I was the nail salon lady, and my dad was in charge of keeping the head down. We catch our first one, Daisy, shove her to the ground (that sounds worse than it was), and dad leans on her neck and holds her head down so she can't buck up. I keep saying, "Dad, be careful! Dad, easy!", and he keeps saying, "I got it, sis. She's fine", even though she didn't look fine. And then all of the sudden, she stops moving. At all. Like she's dead. I start yelling at my dad, Jack starts yelling at Daisy, and my dad starts laughing and says, "Aw, she's not dead. She's asleep. What do you know?" Jack puts his head right up next to her nose and confirms my dad's diagnosis. We look at one another in total confusion for a second before dad, with complete nonchalance, explains, "Looks like I put her in a sleeper hold when I leaned on her jugular." When I ask him how he knows how to do a sleeper hold he answers, "Oh, my dad used to do it to us kids all the time. Knocked us right out."
You learn something new every day out here on the farm.
